Triangle
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: In which Mabel tries to prove that Bill is an isosceles monster, and not equallateral. "Catch that triangle! " "Ack! Leave me alone, you're crazier than I am!" Possibly by chasing him with a yard stick screaming about finding the area of a triangle.


**Ahhhh humor. This is just a make up story to reedem myself for the sad writing I recently posted, so some comlete and utter nonsense should probably help. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

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"Dipper you never even pay attention in math! Those are not all equal sides! One of them's different! He's totally an isosceles triangle!" Mabel shot back.

"Mabel, you're the one who doesn't pay attention in math! You just colour in all the squares in your note book!"

"But white and blue are so boring!"

"Math is supposed to be boring!" Her twin said waving his arms.

"Isosceles! "

"Equilateral!"

"Isosceles!"

"Equilateral!"

"Dear upper forces I can't take this anymore! If either one of you says isosceles or equilateral again-" The rest of the demon's threat was drowned out by the twins debating.

"Hey are you even-"

"Isc-"

"-listening to-"

"-ral!"

"-me?!"

"Oh yea, well why don't we go ask him?!" Mabel snarled.

"Fine!" Dipper said.

"Fine!" She replied.

"Fine!" They both said at the same time.

Both paused, realizing what they had said.

"Wait. Mabel how are we going to ask him? Wouldn't we need to summon him or something?"

"I'm right here!" Still, he was ignored.

"I already thought that over! We just yell insults at him until he has had enough and decides to show himself. And then we ask!"

"Mabel that plan sounds extremely dangerous with a high chance of death."

"I said, I'm right here!"

This time, they both heard him. Mabel jumped in fright, and Dipper picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a yard stick, and pointed it at him.

"W-what are you doing here?" He stuttered.

"I've been here for the past ten minutes listening to you argue about this." He explained, looking at the meter stick, some what amused at this. Despite, their currently perilous situation, Mabel beamed.

"Hey, you should know whether or not you're isosceles! "

He regarded the girl, confused at what she was asking.

"How am I supposed to know what classification of triangle I am? How is this even relevant to anything?"

"It's relevant to everything! Haven't you ever wondered if you could mail yourself somewhere? You'd need to know how big of an envelope to get!" She announced.

Dipper just shrugged, as lost as he was.

"No, I have never wondered about mailing myself anywhere. Why would I even want to do that?"

"How could you not want to mail yourself somewhere?! What's the point in being pretty much flat if you're never going to take advantage of it?"

"What?! I'm not flat, I'm..." He paused floating, realizing that he was indeed 2-D.

"My point exactly!" She said, taking the yard stick out of Dipper's grasp. This did not go unnoticed by Bill.

"Shooting Star, what are you planning? " He asked hesitantly, slowly backing away from the twins.

"Mabel. Don't. Even. Think about it." Said Dipper, guessing what she was going to do.

"Catch that triangle!" She screamed.

If it was possible, he would have become very pale. Instead, he ran out at top speed, with Mabel in hot pursuit, brandishing the yard stick.

Dipper followed behind the two out in the yard, but stopped and rolled his eyes. They were now just running (or floating in Bill's case) around the Mystery Shack. Mabel was screaming something about finding the area of a triangle, and Pythagorean theorem, while swatting at the poor demon with the yard stick. Why he didn't just float beyond her reach was beyond Dipper. He panicked a little, worried that he might end up hurting his sister. But just then, he decided running in circles was getting him nowhere, and the demon set off down the dirt road.

Mabel continued to yell at the top of her lungs as she chased him. This did not go unnoticed by the townspeople.

"Stop that isosceles monster!"

Both Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland looked up from the ticket Blubs was writing to see the great-niece of Stanford Pines running after what looked like a floating dorito that was dressed for a funeral.

"Did you see that?" Durland asked.

"I sure think I did." Blubs replied with a mouthful of doughnut.

"Should we help her?"

"No, she said isosceles monster. That one is _clearly_ equilateral."

"I dunno, it looks isosceles ta' me." Durland said squinting. Both cops looked at each other and shook their heads. Too much coffee.

"Stop disappearing! I need to find out!" Mabel yelled at him.

"No way! You're crazier than I am!"

He found himself back on the property of the Mystery Shack. Perching on a sign, he looked down at the girl.

Despite the large height difference between them, she was jumping at him with the yard stick as if she could reach him. Giving a triumphant laugh, he said;

"Ha! Good luck getting up-"

The rest of what he was going to say was never heard because a voice behind him said;

"Candy, attack!"

Suddenly, he found himself falling through the air. Because he had been caught by surprise, Bill couldn't stop himself from letting _gravity_ causing him to _fall_. He rolled a few feet before landing flat on the ground. The girl who had pushed him from behind picked up her now broken glasses and said;

"I'm ok."

Had she actually jumped off the roof just to even the odds? Oh, no. One of the downfalls of being 2D was that if you fell, standing up was a year-long project. He tried to push himself off the ground, but his paper thin arms were not adept at this.

"Grenda hold him down!" Mabel commanded.

A heavy weight was suddenly placed on where his shoulders would be. From his spot on the ground, he saw the crazed girl walk up him with the yard stick.

"Finally the greatest secret of the world shall be mine!"

"Wait. Whether or not I'm an isosceles triangle is the greatest secret of the world?"

Mabel shrugged;

"Well, I guess it's up there with what marshmallows are made of and where babies come from. But it's still up there!"

"You don't know where babies come from?"

A dark look came over her face, and she shivered.

"Oh I know, I know..."

The young girl brightened again, and said;

"Then let's find out the greatest mystery the world has to offer!"

"No! Don't-"

"Candy! -feet, six inches!" No one could hear the measurement of feet over the demon's screaming.

Candy recorded something down on a notebook.

"That's - feet, six inches!" She mimicked

"-No! Stop it! That-"

"The same on the other side!"

"-tickles!"

"Only one side left! Finally, after thirty whole minutes of me wondering about this, I shall find out!"

"Stop!"

He attempted to kick away the meter stick, but she held it to the ground. Matching up the numbers. She dropped the yard stick. And whispered;

"Candy, get the measuring tape."

The girl ran off and handed her the tape. Mabel stretched it out and said;

"One millimeter. There's a difference of one millimeter. "

Grenda's hold on him faltered, and Candy dropped the note book.

"He's isosceles. But only in Canada. Hey Bill, do you know how much it costs to mail a letter to Canada?"


End file.
